Lookin for Love

I heard a startling statistic the other day. Someone said that 1 in 8 couples married last year in the United States met online. Now, as a statistician (hehe), I know that 7 out of 8 statistics are completely made up, and I’m pretty sure that’s one of them (as is that one). But even so, I happen to know of at least 3 couples that met through internet dating sites or random connections via social networking sites, and it seems to be a growing phenomenon despite, or perhaps in favor of, statistics.

I’ve thought about joining one of these dating sites once or twice – maybe even signed up for a free one just to check it out, and then deleted myself after like one day of not being impressed. And I certainly have friends that have actually paid for the eharmony’s or the match.com’s at hopes of finding Mr. or Ms. Right via PhotoShopped pictures and sound bite communication.

As for me, I have my doubts. Well, I should say reservations.

It’s not that I don’t think it’s possible to find true love on the net. I mean, I guess it’s not different from the old days when people (who were hooked up, I dunno, by their grandparents or something) would write each other for years and years and send pictures, and make this profound connection through merely words on a page, having never actually met. But in most of those situations, there was some other circumstance which allowed them to know of each other in the first place—like mutual friends or wartime correspondence. In any case, it feels more like fate when you didn’t seek out that person, but find them, instead, by chance.

So I guess my real issue with internet dating, speed dating, or any other thing we do to seek out a significant other, is that I feel like, in some weird way, we’re attempting to take fate into our own hands. It’s like I’m telling God, “Actually, You’re not doing it fast enough, so I think I’ll go ahead and find someone on my own, thank You very much.”

And in my experience, every time I try and take things into my own hands (in any aspect of life), it never seems to work out quite as well as when it happens just by chance. I have a sticky suspicion God's plans are just a little bit more perfect-er than my own. Which makes me pretty hesitant to do anything that even remotely resembles my own idea.

I guess on the other hand, one could argue that the reason they felt the desire to go to that particular dating site at that particular time was because they were meant to find that exact person there… Is it still taking fate into your own hands if you think fate is leading you to that site in the first place??

.

Maybe that’s a stretch, but I don’t think it’s any different than, say, going to a club or gym or even church with the idea in the back of your mind (I don’t do this, ya’ll – lol) that you could potentially meet the love of your life there. Just like dating sites, odds are PRETTY high that I won’t find my next great relationship in the frozen food aisle at Kroger (like my friend, whoever...), so what’s the real harm in going there with the hopes that I might?

.

I suppose the harm is that when I’m at any other (regular) place where people meet, I generally go there with some other intention other than to find someone to date. And even if that IS my first priority (like going to a bar, for instance), I’m probably getting something else out of it (like a fun night out) aside from those realized hopes. If I happen to pick up a guy, it’s just a bonus.

But when we seek out love, are we not setting ourselves up for disappointment in the end?? The internet allows for convenient omissions we might not have otherwise had the ability to avoid had we connected in person… So if we build this person (or ourselves) up to be something they’re not, in the end, will we not be sadly disillusioned?

Furthermore, wouldn’t it be better to know that love found you, rather than the other way around?? Where does the line between fate and free will get fuzzy??

I dunno, I’m just talkin…

Any thoughts??