Am I destined to marry a prude?

I've been thinking about this for some time.

I'm celibate, right. And because I plan on waiting (again) until marriage, it's highly likely that the man I'm going to marry is going to be on the same track, or else it won't really work out. So if he's willing to wait, he's either gonna have to be gay (and as we've discussed, I've had enough gay boyfriends for a lifetime so I'll pass) or a devout Christian like myself. Which leads me to my dilemma...

Can a good Christian boy also be a freak?

It's a reasonable concern. I mean, most serious Christian guys I meet view sex as some kind of dirty sin, something that one should only take part in for reproductive purposes. Okay, that might be an exaggeration, but seriously... Generally speaking, if a guy has a really dirty mind, he's usually already acting upon it. So those who are not participating, I can only assume, either do not have, or are relentlessly supressing the freak within.

I know what you're thinking. If a woman (me for instance) can be a virgin or a born-again virgin, and a closet freak (to emerge from the proverbian wardrobe only when wed), why can't a guy? Well I'll tell you why. Because men are sexual beings. Their nature is to spread their seed and it's exponentially more difficult (on average) for a man to control his sexual urges than a woman. So if he's not sexually active, it must mean that he's on the lower end of the spectrum of inner sexual desire. Now, of course there are exceptions to every rule, but in general, I think this is true. The more spiritually devout a man is, the less likely he is to be sexually uninhibited, as the two are fundamentally conflicting. Which leads me to my quandary. My attraction to good guys just might be my ultimate sexual demise.

And that really sucks.

Let's face it, in my sexually active days (how long ago they were indeed), I liked a little... fun (Keepin' it PG-13 in the '08). And the only "God-fearing" man I ever dated used to look at me like I was crazy when I would share with him some fantasy or desire that the average guy (and my other exes) would melt over. Sure, he would reluctantly adhere after a little convincing, but he never truly got into it like I wanted him to, which made it worse than not "spicing it up" at all. I thought it was just him, but come to think about it, it might actually have been his mental association of sexual deviance to religious immorality (which thanks to my highly inappropriate mother, I never made that connection).

So basically, I might be waiting 5 or more years for a lifetime of boring sex. And that makes me want to cry. I mean seriously, I have always looked forward to getting married and having lots of kinky, wild, public, role-playing, third party, swinger, videotaped, tied up, s&m, exhibitionist, ridiculously crazy, freaky sex. Damnit I waited for it, I deserve it. But if my husband isn't into that kind of stuff, I just might be counting cracks on the ceiling for the rest of my sexually active life. And there's no way to sample the product without breaking my vow of abstinence, so basically I'm just screwed (or not screwed, actually).

So when it comes down to it, if I meet someone who loves God, loves me, takes care of me, gives me lots of babies, never lies or cheats, is a good father and a good husband... but is bad in bed... Will I still be satisfied? Are sex and happiness mutually exclusive? At the end of the day, I hope I don't have to think about this and that I'm blessed with a good Christian man who also happens to be a freak. But in the event that I can only have the former and not the latter, I wonder...

Is bad sex a trade-off for a good life?