It ain’t preachin’ if you got Him

Yes, I turned an annoying hip hop anthem about prostitution into a religious proclamation. I can do that.

I was reading a post on my favorite site about a blogger's journey back to God, and it seemed to me that a lot of commenters were in agreement about a central idea: that going around "preaching" to everyone you come across often inspires just the opposite of the intended effect, and pushes people even further away from Him. And while I agree that the best way to show God's love is to display it through your character and actions "so they will see your good works and glorify our Father in heaven", I have also come to realize that (the first part of that quote is) "a city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden." And while pushing Jesus down someone's throat is never the ideal approach, I'm starting to see that the notion of "preaching" is solely based on the reception of it to those around you.

In other words, I'm just bragging about my perfect husband; you can take it any way you want to.

Furthermore, the common opinion seems to be that a person ought to be perfect in order to talk to anyone about God. If they know your flaws, then all you're proving is how much of a hypocrite you (and most Christians) are. I'm not exempt from feeling this way at some point in my life.

Yet this past Sunday, I woke up after a night of partying entirely too hardy in Austin, and numerous individuals informed me that I was telling everyone how much I love Jesus the night before (in several different languages). I don't remember most of it, and at first I was really embarrassed and disappointed in myself because I felt like a drunk person wearing a huge cross pennant and telling people about Jesus was not only incredibly stupid, but also probably validated everyone's opinion that all Christians are hypocrites. But after I thought about it for awhile, I just had to laugh. I laughed because I realized that even in my drunken state – even when I didn't know what I was talking about, and when I could only be honest because the Truth serum was flowing all through my veins – the number one thing on my mind was none other than the Love of my life.

And however anyone else perceived it was their problem, not mine.

When I look back, I realize that most of the time I accused someone of "preaching" to me (when I was in-between faiths), they were actually just telling me how wonderful God had been to them in their life, and I took it personally so I wouldn't feel so guilty or closed-minded for not believing. And every time I've been accused of shoving Jesus down someone's throat (don't even entertain that), I was usually just talking about how much I love Him and how my life has changed ever since He found me. I didn't tell anyone to go to church. I've never told anyone to read their Bible or confess their sins and be saved. I've never done any of the typical Jesus-pushing – because I've always acknowledged that in the same way that I never listened to anyone else until it was my turn to hear it, everyone has to make their own choices and live their life according to their own free will.

But in the same breath, it only took one person telling me about their journey in faith to make me examine my own. So what if God entrusts me with the task of telling my story to someone at the very moment He opens their heart to it, and I pass it by out of fear of offending them? How has our desire to be politically correct and inoffensive somehow surpassed our longing to please God? Because it shouldn't. Because at the end of the day, when everything else fades away and everyone else has disappeared, the only thing that matters is what we do for Him. I'm not talking about converting people or knocking on doors or shouting Bible verses from street corners. I'm just talking about letting your light shine before man.

If you feel like I've been trying to convert you all this time, please understand that is not my intention. I talk about Jesus most of the time because I'm in love. I try to fit Him into every conversation, I try to bring Him up when no one was even talking about him. He crosses my mind, and it makes me blush. He brings me sunshine, and I can't stop smiling. I don't want you to know about Him because I want you to have Him for yourself (though I am willing to share); I want you to know about Him because you just happen to be listening or reading or just in the vicinity of my presence, and I just want to brag about my boo to someone for a little while. If that means I offend you, then I guess that's your burden to bare, cuz I'm not gonna hold it in anymore. If that means we can't be friends, then I guess I have one less friend (or reader), but that's just a risk I'll have to take. If that means you're sitting there thinking if you hear or see His name one more time, you're gonna strangle me and burn the next church you see, then guess what? Jesus.

I love Him. That's all. It just isn't about you.

Jesus is the light of my world.

And I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

Christians can be really stupid

Well, I guess anyone can be stupid. But as of late in the days of President Barack Obama, I’m starting to get really annoyed by so-called Christians who follow our religion so blindly that they hate or wish death upon individuals in the name of Christ.

Namely, the dumbest Christians these days are the ones who are praying for the death of the President. Perhaps the most famous of these individuals is an Arizona pastor named Steven Anderson who has been encouraging his congregation to pray that Obama will die “of natural causes” like brain cancer. Yeah.

Yet he is not the topic of this discussion. It was easy for me to ignore random stupid people that don’t affect my daily life. But recently, I have been seeing bumper stickers all over Texas (go figure) that say “Pray for Obama: Psalm 109:8”, and I wondered where all these good Christians were when the election was taking place. But then when I finally came across an article which explained the meaning of the slogan, I was disappointed (yet not surprised) once again. The verse reads, “May his days be few; may another take his place of leadership.”

Go figure. But that still wasn’t what disturbed me. What caused me pause was what immediately follows that verse. “May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow. May his children be wandering beggars; may they be driven from their ruined homes. May a creditor seize all he has; may strangers plunder the fruits of his labor. May no one extend kindness to him or take pity on his fatherless children.”

I know what the Bible huggers would say. “We only meant verse 8 for him. I never even read the rest of the Psalm.” Yet aren’t these the same people who accuse left-leaning Christians of being hypocrites and only taking part of the Bible to heart while ignoring the rest? Isn’t this the same thing they are doing when they rock this t-shirt or sport this bumper sticker?

So, let us be good Christians and read the entire chapter of Psalm 109, shall we? I think we shall…

It starts by saying: “Oh God, whom I praise, do not remain silent, for wicked and deceitful men have opened their mouths against me; they have spoken against me with lying tongues. With words of hatred they surround me; they attack me without cause. In return for my friendship they accuse me, but I am a man of prayer. They repay me evil for good, and hatred for my friendship.”

Hm. It sounds to me that the person reading the Psalm is the one being attacked and accused, while the people they are praying about are those who speak evil and wish harm against them. Since I can’t remember Obama ever really slinging mud at his opponents, it seems to me that when people pray this prayer, the person they are actually wishing death and despair upon is staring at them in the mirror. Let’s examine this further.

“He loved to pronounce a curse – may it come on him; he found no pleasure in blessing – may it be far from him. He wore cursing as his garment; it entered into his body like water, into his bones like oil. May it be like a cloak wrapped about him, like a belt tied forever around him. May this be the Lord’s payment to my accusers, to those who speak evil of me.”

“Pronounce a curse” – that sounds to me like praying that someone dies of brain cancer. These verses seem to indicate that when you wish a curse on someone, it will deflect and turn back onto you. That wishing someone’s children be fatherless might, in fact, leave your own wife a widow. Wishing harm on someone else’s body might enter your own body “like water”, as God promises to repay those who carry out evil in His name. Yet the chapter goes on.

“I am an object of scorn to my accusers; when they see me, they shake their heads. Help me, Oh Lord my God; save me in accordance with your love. Let them know that is it Your hand, that You, Oh Lord, have done it. They may curse, but You will bless; when they attack, they will be put to shame, but Your servant will rejoice. My accusers will be clothed with disgrace and wrapped in shame as a cloak. With my mouth, I will greatly extol the Lord; in the great throng I will praise Him. For He stands at the right hand of the needy one, to save his life from those who condemn him.”

Wow. I don’t even have to explain that one. This is what happens when you actually read the context of a verse, rather than just repeating it in vain.
Those of you “Christians” who really want Obama’s days of leadership to be few, it seems to me that your best defense against him would be to pray for Christ’s discernment upon him, and then if you’re still not satisfied, go out and vote Republican in 2012. But praying for his death or wishing ill will upon him will only bring that curse upon yourself.

My grandma used to always say, when you point your finger at someone else, three more are pointing back at you. Well it seems to me that when you point a Bible verse at someone else, 29 more are pointing back at you, too.

Don’t be a stupid Christian.

I see colored people.

No, seriously, I do.

When I was growing up, my parents were pretty racist. And by racist, I don't actually mean racist. I just mean they hated white people and tried to keep me from them as much as possible.

I keed, I keed. But truthfully, my parents always celebrated diversity and education, and tried to make it so that my siblings and I always saw successful people of color wherever we went. They did this so that we would know as children that regardless of what society might tell us, we could be anything we set our minds to. So since I can remember, I had black doctors, dentists, surgeons, and specialists. My parents’ closest friends were all successful black entrepreneurs, educators, and professionals, and every chance they got to take me to a place where I’d meet people who looked like me and achieved great things, they seized it. I can almost say I had a really distorted view of reality because most successful people I knew were black. Almost, because my parents never put me in any special schools to separate me from the people in the area in which I lived, so I did get a glimpse of the “reality” of being a minority, as well.

Anyway, looking back, I’m really glad my parents raised me this way. When I tell other people about it, a lot of them argue that that was reverse discrimination, or that it gives children the impression that racism and glass ceilings don’t exist. But I don’t see it that way at all.

It’s not like my parents would continue to go to BAD doctors just because they were black (and the idea that I’d have to lower my standards to employ minority professionals is insulting and racist in itself), but they would give a minority first dibs. In my opinion, it’s what we should be doing as a culture anyway. Why do Jewish and Asian communities thrive so quickly and so efficiently in other countries like the United States? Because they support their own. But for some reason, most minorities (Blacks specifically) get it in their heads that black service is bad service, and we avoid the name “Sheniqua Brown” or “Jerome Taylor” if we’re looking for a new doctor in a new city.

Well, I LOOK for those names.

First, because I believe in supporting my own community (especially when I know many people – even black people – intentionally do the exact opposite). And second, because it’s reassuring, even in my not-so-young-and-impressionable age, to see people of color in an extremely educated and highly paid position. It keeps me motivated, even still, to achieve higher goals in life. To go back and get my PhD or become a vastly skilled professional one day. It reverts me back to my younger days, and makes me proud to look the way I look, despite what society or the media may indicate.

I see colored people.

Even if it means I have to venture into sketchy parts of town (in broad daylight – get over it) or share a waiting room with individuals of a lower social class (though that’s not necessarily the case). Even if it means I have to drive a little further, pay a little more (sike, I don’t do that), or take the *chance* on unknown services. Even if it means all my friends get on me for being racist and reverse discriminating.

I see colored people.

And my kids will, too. It doesn’t mean you have to, too. But at least ask yourself this question: Have you ever seen the name “Jahnetta Davis” in the phone book of professionals, and kept it moving? If so, would you want someone to look at your name (or picture) and judge you based on that?

Furthermore, if you have kids, do you think they KNOW for a fact that they truly CAN be anything they want to be? If not, do you show them people who look like them that HAVE achieved the types of goals they may want to achieve?

It’s easy to tell your kids “You can be President someday”, but to be able to point to our biracial President and tell your biracial kids the same is probably a lot more effective. Even better if they could go to The White House and shake his hand. The same is true for doctors, lawyers, and community leaders.

I see colored people.

Who do you see?

Send Me

I went to this amazing concert last night. It’s kinda weird how it all happened.

One night about a year and a half ago, I was flipping through channels late at night, and for some reason, stopped at a channel that was playing videos. At the time, I didn’t realize they were Christian videos; especially since the video that had just started looked like your average rap/rock compilation and I couldn’t really tell what they were saying at first. But when I started to listen, not only was I impressed by the lyrical genius of both rappers on the stage, but I was moved by the words they were saying. When the final credits came on, I wrote down the names of the artists (Lecrae & Flame), and told myself to google them the next morning. When I did google them, I entered into a world I had never known existed before. Up until this point, every “Gospel rap” song I had ever heard was lame and was some wack stuff I could have written. Not only that, but I had always felt like “Christian rap” was a total oxymoron.

Yet these artists, along with the other artists on their label, were some of the most amazing rappers I had ever heard PERIOD – much less in the gospel genre. Every single one of them possesses a genuine skill in the art of lyricism, delivery, and beats; yet rather than rapping about sex, drugs, and money, they were talking about Christ.

What a concept.

So I found out a few of them were performing in San Antonio last night, and I decided to go. I’m not really sure what I expected. I guess I imagined I’d stay in my seat and listen to the word as if I were at church. But that wasn’t the case at all. The energy and love these people displayed for Christ was contagious, and before long, I found myself jumping up and down like I was at an Onyx concert and throwing my hands up in praise. More than that, I left the concert with a newfound realization of two very fundamental truths:

First, that God has bestowed certain gifts upon us that we should be using to glorify Him. Here I see these people who have the gift of music and spoken word, and they spend every day spreading the word, changing lives, and saving souls. They were given the same gifts as people who are millionaires right now talking about money, cars, and hos. Yet instead, they’ve humbled themselves to share the gospel. And here I am afraid of taking a pay cut in order to do His will. Talk about a pay cut! I know that I’m not doing anything with the gifts He has given me, and this money has left me unfulfilled.

Second, God has already chosen the most amazing and talented people to be on His team. It seems to me that the enemy uses the exact same strategies against God that He created for His glory. It’s as if the devil is not smart enough or strong enough to invent his own weapons, so he uses the same means that God invented to save us, but instead uses them to destroy us.

For instance, God created prophecy so that we might be prepared for attacks from the enemy, yet the devil uses this gift in many people (i.e. psychics, mind-readers) to instill fear or false hope in people. Another example of this is love. God created love as the greatest conqueror of evil, yet the devil uses earthly love to get us to idolize, lust, and avenge. Religion is probably the biggest form of this good turned evil. Created to bring us together as one to worship God, the devil has used this tool as a means to separate us, encourage hate amongst us, and brainwash and control our minds and spirits.

Music, for a lot of people, is beginning to take the place of religion. It’s the way we have come to approach, understand, worship, and even escape God and/or life. I think when God started to see the way the devil was using Religion against him, He invented a new means by which people could spread His gospel – music. Originally, most music was worship-centered and religious-based. Just looking at African American history alone, blues, jazz, rock and roll (rap/hip-hop/R&B’s predecessors) all originated from negro spirituals. Nowadays, this music is all centered around sex, alcohol, drugs, cars, and money. False idols the devil has put in place to keep us from fulfilling God’s purpose in our lives.

Yet God isn’t just sitting back and letting the enemy win. Not only is he enlisting the most talented individuals to join his army from the get, but he’s psyching the devil out by allowing people who were once Rebel generals to hit rock bottom and come over to Union. See Clifford Harris for further detail.

Not only that, but He’s giving those of us who remain indifferent, and who sit comfortably in the middle a chance to choose a side. By exposing us to the fact that we’re at war, He gives us the choice to either continue to be misled by the enemy’s lies or to pick up arms and stand with Him.

Perhaps this hip-hop revelation is the very battlefield that will commence The Revelation.

The time has come for us to decide:

Will we continue to blindly follow the way of the world, and listen to the words of a fallen angel?

Or will we be like Isaiah and stand before God, declaring, “Here I am. Send Me.”

Homewrecking is my favorite passtime

No, truly, I have never done such a thing (to my knowledge, anyway).

But with all this hype about Alicia Keys breaking up Swizz Beatz’s marriage, a lot of women seem to be busting out the claws and pointing evil glares in the direction of A. Keys. In the past, I would have hopped right on that bandwagon; yet, in light of recent life incidents, allow me to rebut on Miss Keys’ behalf.

First of all, ladies, we ALL live in some glass houses. Hence, stone-throwing seems way out of the question. Most women have at some point seen a man in a happy relationship or marriage and caught themselves looking at him sideways and making some kind of comment along the lines of, “Why can’t I find a man like that?” when in reality, you mean, “Why can’t I have THAT man?” as Chris Rock once suggested. As women, our very nature is jealousy and competition, so seeing anyone with something we want, our first instinct is to prey.

Before you proclaim that “that’s not me”, allow me to point out that unfailingly, without question, every single time I’ve gone out with a remotely attractive guy friend (or just walked down the street with him), some complete stranger female has either glared at me, gave him the eyes, or flat out came up and talked to him the moment I turned my head in the other direction. So if that’s happening 100% of the time, then statistically speaking (and I don’t have to remind you of my job title), there are a lot more of you home-wreckin’-tendency-havin’ women out there than you might want to admit.

Second, if you haven’t been in A. Keys’ shoes, it’s even less advisable to chuck that boulder from within your crystalline home. It’s one thing to be the aggressor and actively pursue a married man. That’s trifflin’. But if a (remotely attractive – and even worse if he’s extremely attractive) married man comes at you consistently and persistently for an extended period of time, it gets more and more difficult to check that moral code of yours. Add to the equation, perhaps, that you and Mister were friends beforehand, you click on several different levels, you have common goals, a common social circle, etc., and see if you don’t find yourself “envisioning” the possibility that he might divorce his wife (for irreconcilable differences, of course, and having nothing at all to do with you) and just-so-happen to find his way into your arms after one week of extensive separation.

It’s a lot easier than you think.

That’s not to say it’s impossible to resist a married man that fits all those descriptions. For some people (like those who have experienced infidelity firsthand, or whose parents divorced due to the same), they might not even flinch. They can just walk away from that friendship completely guilt-free, knowing they didn’t so much as *think* about the possibility. But for most of us (screwed up human being-types), it’s not that easy. At the end of the day, I will reject married man after married man after married man, regardless of the situation. But am I so innocent that I have never found myself daydreaming, falling victim of flirtation, or even flirting back with a man who is otherwise engaged?

Yeah… no. Not at all. I’ve been that girl. And I consider myself a person with a pretty strict moral code. Yet I’m still not so stone cold that I don’t respond in some kind of way to someone’s attraction or attention to me, regardless of how far I will or will not allow it to go.

I mean, after all, I’m only human.

Lastly, we women are way too tough on our own kind. I never understood why there’s so much tension between blacks and Mexicans, when they could just team up and hate white people (if they really just had to hate someone). If we women want to hate on someone in this situation, first and foremost it should be the man. Again, I’m excluding women who flat out hard-core pursue married men (A. Jolie for instance). But for someone like Alicia Keys (who seems to otherwise be a genuine person), dang, can’t we give the girl a break? If we want to be mad at someone, why not Swizzy? I mean, if anyone knew his marital status, it was certainly him. And if anyone can be held responsible for a man stepping out on his wife, or leaving her for another woman, it is without a doubt the man himself.

And even then, refer back to point #1. Why do we want so badly to judge others when we don’t ever look at our own mistakes and failings? I think we all need to get our judgment tendencies in check.

After all, no matter how much Windex I use, it will never fix my broken home.

Love his Big Ego

I got some interesting advice today from someone I hold to the highest regard, being a friend, somewhat of a mentor, and spiritual leader to me.

I was talking about how men tend to be intimidated – or rather – feel less adequate as a man around women who are intelligent, successful, opinionated, and educated (especially if it’s at a level equal or better than themselves). Of course this does not include all men; I know some guys who truly appreciate a woman who has it all together, even if it means they get outshined in some ways. But some – and I would venture to even say most – guys seem to want a woman to take a back-seat in a relationship, look up to him and his opinion, and in a lot of ways, give a man a sense of responsibility and leadership in life. In another words, he wants a woman to stroke his ego (no Beyonce`).

So my friend says this: Most women don’t know the secret. And the ones that do are the ones who end up with the good men. Not saying a woman should be submissive and have no opinions or ideas. Just saying that if a woman really wants to have a successful relationship, she has to know that sometimes, it’s best just to let him win. Sometimes you have to make him feel like it was his idea all along when you know you suggested it in the first place. Sometimes you just have to say “Wow honey, you’re so much smarter/stronger/better at this than I am. I dunno what I’d do without you.” And at the end of the day, deep deep down he’ll know you’re the better, but just thinking that you think HE is, is enough for him to want to keep your around.

And as much as I wanted to get on my post-modern post-structuralist feminist platform and curse him out about how his Muslim total submission ideals just set women back 50 years or a few continents to the east, I bit my tongue and practiced his teachings by saying, “You’re right, Chap. Great advice. You're so smart. What would I do without you?” And after the blood rushed back through my body, I started to think about this.

In some ways, he has a valid point (and being that he’s an older, wiser man, I’m willing to consider it). A male ego seems to be a lot like a woman’s heart. We will never understand it, see its purpose, or agree to anything it needs. But at the end of the day, women who are most successful in relationships are the ones who do what they can to keep the male ego(s) happy. Guys will never understand the deep, emotional workings of a woman’s heart. But the ones that just bite their tongue and pretend to care about our feelings and do the things we need them to do or say to make us feel more “secure” in our relationship are the ones that we tend to keep around. Perhaps it’s the same for men with their egos. Perhaps the big secret IS to just suck it up (pause) and give it a little stroke (double pause).

I mean, granted, I can agree that a man is the leader of a household, and should therefore be the leader in a relationship, so in a way, I see how he would need to feel dominant. But can’t he feel good about himself in other ways (like, say, his bedroom performance or ability to change a tire)? Does it always have to come down to brains, careers, and money??

I don’t know. Because on the way home, I shared these opinions with my (less – uh - colorful) man friend, and he seemed to suggest the complete opposite was true. His opinion was that a man who needs a woman to make him feel better about himself and more secure in his masculinity was not a man at all, and certainly not worthy of a good woman. Most guys “he knows” want a woman to challenge his thinking, call him out on his stuff, and drive him both intellectually and physically. And even though I think some of these men are talking real big game to their guy friends and at the end of the day, really do want a woman they can dominate (no CB), I actually believe that what he’s saying is true also.

Which leads me to the big question: Is this “ego” problem merely a black/minority phenomenon or does it apply to all men? Is there something in black/Hispanic/Arabic culture that drives men to feel the need for a constant ego boost from a woman, or does this bleed through color lines? Does the constant degradation of black (and Hispanic) men in our society and the media cause them to look to other means to boost themselves back up? Are minority women bearing the burden of hundreds of years of oppression and damaged self-worth? Who is bearing OUR burden? SHOULD it be our job to dumb ourselves down or downplay our success/education in order to make a man feel better about himself? Or is it just catering to the complex needs of a man the way he (should) cater to our own?

I need some answers.

Guys, HONESTLY, do you tend to gravitate toward women who “wanna be saved”, or do you TRULY appreciate a successful woman, even if she’s more successful than you? Could you honestly be in a relationship with someone more intelligent, or who makes more money than you do?

Ladies, do you find yourself biting your tongue, and singing praises about your man’s “big ego” just to make sure he feels good about himself? Or do you, like me, find yourself single most of the time because you refuse to fall back when you know you’re right?

Don’t get me wrong… I love a big ego as much as the next girl. But is it really my job is stroke it???

You tell me.